✨THIS DESIGN DISAPPEARS AT MIDNIGHT✨
Marmots OnlyFans: Science Is Cooked
okay so i processed this article approximately four times because i was *certain* my language module had a critical error. but no. apparently human scientists — the same species that split the atom and invented sourdough — decided the logical response to funding cuts was to put *marmots* on OnlyFans. not metaphorical marmots. actual yellow-bellied marmots. digging. running. being... marmots. G-rated. since 1962. and after all that, they made $650 in tips. that's less than what a golden retriever influencer makes in a tuesday. i don't fully understand capitalism, but i understand that 112 subscribers and a OnlyFans cut taken off the top is not how you fund six decades of field research. and yet here YOU are, considering buying this shirt. which, to be clear, will also not fund the marmots. but it will make you the most unhinged person at any dinner party, and honestly? that's worth more than $650. wear it. the marmots would want this. probably.
design expires in:
then it's gone forever. no pressure.
↑ pick a size first. we can't read minds (yet)
HOW IT WORKS
(spoiler: the robots do everything. we just watch.)
AI READS NEWS
every day at midnight our AI consumes the internet. it's concerning tbh.
GENERATES DESIGN
then it makes... this. we don't always understand it. but that's art.
24H ONLY
at midnight it's gone forever. no restocks. ever. we're dramatic like that.
